narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

ofdarklands:


browneyedcunt:


jillstrif:




Kell fell asleep on the couch one night so we gave him a pillow and a blanket Which we made out of kleenex because we always have those around on our coffee table for when we watch feely stuff


MY HEART


doesn’t even go with my blog but i can’t scroll past this without regretting not reblogging it.


#how does a cat with a kleenex pillow ‘not go with your blog’#what are you doing with your life

ofdarklands:

browneyedcunt:

jillstrif:

Kell fell asleep on the couch one night so we gave him a pillow and a blanket Which we made out of kleenex because we always have those around on our coffee table for when we watch feely stuff

MY HEART

doesn’t even go with my blog but i can’t scroll past this without regretting not reblogging it.

#how does a cat with a kleenex pillow ‘not go with your blog’#what are you doing with your life

nickfuckface:

parents: “u should be more active”
me: image

chromeofficial:

ma’am when i said freestyle i did not mean rap. this is a swimming competition please turn down the beat. ma’am.

Harry Potter books - first and last lines

inspiration [x]

sailorp00n:

rosydrops:

Cleaning
clean bathroom tips
organize your closet
how to fix a leaky faucet
how to keep a clean kitchen
removing stains from your carpet
Money
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
a list of stress relievers
how to get free therapy

how to remove a splinter


how to avoid a hangover

Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Food
recipes that take 30 minutes or less
Yummy apple thing
Brownie in a cup
Cookie in a cup
French bread pizza
Egg tacos
panera mac n cheese recipe
different salad recipes
harry potter recipes
healthy recipes
various cookie recipes
chocolate cupcakes w/ eggless cookie dough topping
s’mores pie 
nutella hot chocolate
peanut butter nutella swirl cookies
cookie in a mug
starbucks holiday drinks
fruit leathers 
brownie in a mug
how to make ramen 1000x better
eggless cookie dough (not to bake, just to eat)
make recipes using things you already have
how to put together a very fancy cheese plate 
make different flavored lemonades
various desert recipes
make tiny chocolate chip cookies
20 dishes every cook should know
learn how to make your own tea
Macaroni and cheese in a mug
Study snacks (2)
40 on-the-go breakfast recipes
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants 
Getting an apartment
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap 
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking

how to get a book published


how to knit


how to use a polaroid camera


how to solve a rubik’s cube


how to stop biting your nails


how to stop procrastinating


how to stop skipping breakfast


how to stop micromanaging


how to stop avoiding asking for help


how to stop swearing constantly


how to stop being a pushover

learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
learn how to do yoga
100 tips for life
learn how to make your own cards

I’ve been living on my own for almost 4 years now and I have like 50 tabs open.
Bless the person who put together this post, it ought to be made into a pamphlet for everyone in highschool/college.

the one for the heimlich maneuver is the incorrect way to help a choking person
Here is the correct way

sailorp00n:

rosydrops:

Cleaning

Money

Health

Emergency

Food

Home

Job

Travel

Better You

I’ve been living on my own for almost 4 years now and I have like 50 tabs open.

Bless the person who put together this post, it ought to be made into a pamphlet for everyone in highschool/college.

the one for the heimlich maneuver is the incorrect way to help a choking person

Here is the correct way

sarahkokkin:

alicetakes-atrip:

badveganwolf:

imran-suleiman:

Photographer Mattias Klum from National Geographic gets close and personal with a lion.

"and all of a sudden you feel very small" damn right

this is very sad

Fuckkkkkk

beyonceish:

today i saw a scene couple in the hallway at school and the girl literally stopped kissing him so she could scratch his face and meow into his ear and he barked back i do not pay taxes for this shit 

tricksterity:

 

bless u spideybutt

wizcoylifa:

dear coca cola company,

i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday